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Most cohabiting couples would only need a couple of sessions to square away finances and logistics. Having an objective third party help you navigate the right questions to ask each other and be a voice of reason during an emotional time can be helpful. If the finances feel complicated, you may consider family mediation (it’s not just for married couples or those with children!). Oh, and if you can agree on no romantic endeavors or dates over while the other is there (or like, ever), it will be better for both of your sanity.Ī post shared by Rae Everyday Have a detailed finances conversation It takes a village to get over a tough breakup, but do your best to honor each other’s own private time in the house to grieve and process. Talk through specific days of the week that you or your ex could have friends over, so that the other person can plan to be out. Your space is now going to become a little more “roommate style,” so treat it as such. It can be easy in this stage to assume the same routine, like your ex taking on nightly dishwasher duty and you do the cooking, but remaining in those relationship habits isn’t healthy for either of you. Address things like who will be sleeping where and how chores will be handled. Set up as much structure for sharing the space as possible. Regardless of how you square who is ultimately moving where, there will be some stretch of time you’ll be living together broken up. For example, while a lease break fee might be expensive, you both may decide it’s worth the clean break. Spend some time mapping out the costs financially (and emotionally) of each option. This isn’t the first time they’ve heard of a cohabiting breakup, and they may have options ranging from a lease break fee to being willing to allow a tenant sublet (FYI, a landlord will have to approve a new tenant moving in and taking over the lease with you or your ex). It may also mean that one of you decides to assist the other with the cost of setting up a small residence elsewhere and you both split the entirety of living expenses for your original residence. If you’re both on the lease, you’re both responsible for the rent, so decide which of you is in a better position to assume the entirety of the lease or mortgage payment as one of you moves out. Make the decision to move out as soon as possible, because it will assist you in keeping momentum for all of your other decisions. A post shared by Set a firm move-out date
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